


Living on for you

by Hiss_hiss_bish



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Beaches, Dead Jason Grace, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:08:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23265979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hiss_hiss_bish/pseuds/Hiss_hiss_bish
Summary: It had been months since Caligula had taken their brother away, and Nico could see Percy trying so hard to not break.Percy looked happy all the time, so much that it had started to scare him, he wanted to get Percy's façade to break, to let it all out, and what better place to do it than by the sea.
Relationships: Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 73





	Living on for you

_**"Numbing the pain for a while will only make it worse when you finally feel it"  
-Dumbledore **_

They sat on the shore in the sand sparkling in the moonlight, the waves ebbing closer and closer to where their feet rested.

Nico had his feet spread out while Percy lay on his lap, grinning that odd out-of-place grin. He looked down at him, his sea green eyes looking much duller than they used to be, like his smile didn't quite reach them. He stroked Percy's hair absentmindedly as Percy talked about something mundane, that he could see his boyfriend didn't really have the heart to talk about, but was doing it to distract Nico from the actual subject bothering him.

That day, when the news about Jason's death had come to Camp Half Blood, Percy had stopped breathing completely for a good two minutes, and his eyes had gone unfocused and dark. After that, Percy had been so calm that you'd think he was just waiting for someone to say that it had been a prank all along, and that his brother would come flying out of the sky any moment to hug him.

Everyone had been more concerned about the fact that there hadn't been any fluctuations in the sea waves, or even an earthquake, they wouldn't have been surprised even if a nearby volcano had erupted, but this was something completely new. The others seemed scared of Percy, of what he'd do when he let the dam break.

Nico and Annabeth, though, they'd been scared for him. They knew he would hurt himself in all of this somehow.

Nico had had to take a whole day off in his own cabin, too, when he'd heard the news, he didn't want to see anybody, it hadn't been any better for him, but he had coping mechanisms. His coping mechanisms, having been used many times before, were quite effective, and although he would never get over it, he'd learned to live with it.

And if any of his experiences had taught him anything, it was to let it all out.

He'd been trying to get Percy to do that. Both he and Annabeth kept switching places in taking care of him, and he never protested. He was practically asking for help, he just didn't want to say out loud, he didn't want to confirm the fact that his brother, best friend and comrade, was, in fact, dead.

Earlier, it used to be that Percy would come to Camp and take Nico to different places whenever he got time off from his schedule, trying to get him to open up, and it had helped, immensely. He'd promised Nico they'd do it much more often if Nico agreed to move into his house with Paul and Sally before they bought their own apartment. 

Nico had declined the offer till the day Percy's mental stability had broken. Now, he was living with Percy, going to the same school, but he seemed to be the one fulfilling the promise of taking him away.

He'd take him to places he knew Percy loved, all of which were beaches. He just wasn't sure how to get Percy to talk about it without actually saying it out loud, Jason's name would cause him to either run in the opposite direction or change the subject abruptly.

"....yeah and then I held my breath underwater even though I don't need to" Percy babbled "So, you can't call me a cheater"

Nico smiled.

"Sure, I can't call the Son of Poseidon, who's on his school's swim team, and can breathe underwater, a cheater"

Percy's expression turned sour, like he was remembering a bad incident. 

"I did drown once, no, twice, the first time I panicked so much that I scared Piper" it soured further "The second time, I would've died if it weren't for --"

His eyes turned dark again and his lips curled into something resembling a snarl, but it was gone in an instant.

"- her boyfriend"

There was a pause, where the only sounds that could be heard were the sloshing of the waves and the slight rustling of tree leaves.

He cupped Percy's cheek and said as gently as he could, "He does have a name, you know"

Percy jolted upright and drew his knees to his chest, he started rocking back and forth.

"Percy," Nico insisted "you need to talk about it"

"It doesn't matter" His voice was shaky.

"Are you sure?"

"It doesn't--" His voice broke and so did the dam inside him "IT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER. HE LEFT US, HE LEFT ALL OF US, HE LEFT **ME**. HE HAD TO GO AND BE THE SELF SACRIFICING IDIOT AND GET A FUCKING SPEAR PIERCED THROUGH HIM. DIDN'T HE THINK OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN TO ME? TO PIPER? TO LEO?

"AND NONE OF THIS, NONE OF THIS WOULD'VE HAPPENED IF I'D JUST- JUST GONE WITH APOLLO AND-"

"Got yourself killed instead of him?" Nico finished quietly.

Percy didn't say anything. Of course that was the first thing he'd come up with.

"I'll not tell you what you should've done, Perce" Nico said in a somehow steady voice, "But you said it yourself, you would've done the same thing if you were in his place"

He paused, waiting for contradiction, there was none.

"And if you **had** , it would've affected us, it would've hurt Jason just as much as he hurt you"

Percy was openly sobbing now, Nico didn't stop him.

"Don't you-" Percy choked "Don't **tell** me what I shouldn't do....you would've done the same"

"I never told you what you should've done, and you're right, I would have done the same" That caught Percy off-guard "But Jason wouldn't have been able to bear it if either his older or younger brothers had died"

Percy gave a watery chuckle, "Has Jason's spirit possessed you or something? You sound like the mom friend"

"It might have" Nico said seriously "Do you see any bricks nearby, they might recognize his spirit"

"I - I want to talk to him, though" Percy said "I never got any closure"

Nico didn't say much. He hadn't gotten much of a closure either, because he knew, that if he met Jason there, he might never leave, the same went for Percy.

"Will you take me to the Underworld?"

"You don't have to go there, you can just take your rage out on the sky"

He didn't know why he'd said that, he hadn't thought before saying it, it had just come to his mouth, but he knew it was true.

"You know what," Percy said, getting to his feet "I'm gonna do just that"

None of them said anything as they held hands and walked into the waves. Percy stopped when it came up to his waist. 

"You go first" He said to Nico. He nodded slightly.

"JASON GRACE," He yelled to the heavens "YOU WERE AN AMAZING BROTHER AND I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING US, BUT I HOPE YOU CAN SPEND THE REST OF YOUR AFTERLIFE IN PEACE IN THE ELYSIUM"

Nico stopped, and took a deep breath. He realised there were tears drying on his cheeks, and he wiped them away quickly.

"SUPERMAN" Percy called, and a massive wave erupted somewhere far in the horizon.

"I HATE YOU AND YOUR STUPID HABIT OF LOOKING AFTER EVERYBODY BUT YOURSELF, AND I HATE THAT YOU NEVER GOT TO FINISH THE TEMPLES AND FULFILL THE PROMISES  
YOU'D MADE TO ALL THOSE GODS AND I HATE THAT YOU WERE KIND AND MODEST AND YOUNGER THAN ME WHEN YOU DIED, BUT I LOVE YOU AND I **WILL** MEET YOU AFTER I BECOME AN OLD MAN, SO DON'T YOU DARE CHOOSE REBIRTH.

Percy's voice lowered a little, and Nico joined in, somehow using the same words, like a prayer "And we'll all remember you, Jason Grace, who was Greek and Roman and who loved everyone like his own people

"And we'll all live on for you"


End file.
